Do you think of yourself as a person who would use shame as a weapon?
In this video I talked about how sometimes we try to mask our shame in humor.
Sometimes we don't even bother.
Have you ever heard had a bully ask you "How did you even get through nursing school?"
Have you ever said "You better get a thicker skin if you want to work here."
How about the exasperated (and totally unhelpful) "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???"
These are all shame-based comments. They are designed to hurt the person we are talking to.
You may agree with my examples, you may not. If you want to find exceptions for how these comments could be totally innocent, I'm sure you can find them. I encourage you, however, to consider what I am saying.
YOUR CHALLENGE, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT
Be aware of your words. Be aware of your intent. You get to decide what is right and wrong for you, but make it be a choice, not an afterthought. Not something you get defensive about afterwards. Decide who the person is that you want to be, and make the things you do support that vision.
We all make mistakes. Even me! I've been called out for some of the jokes I've shared on the Facebook page, for reasons I hadn't even considered before I shared them. And that's ok. I don't have to go on a rant about how people are "just too sensitive these days", because true or not, that doesn't help me be the person I want to be.
Start getting clear about where you are headed in life, because if you can master that, magical things start to happen.